Two strange things happened yesterday afternoon. One of them still rankles a bit.
It was hot, and I was queuing up to pay at my local corner shop for a bottle of water. The local playgroup must of just kicked out as the aisles were full of marauding double-buggies and fractious youngsters.
I got to the front of the queue and handed over my water and a note. I was actually just about to place the fiver in the cashiers hand when a mum barged me to the side dumped three ice-lollies on the counter and announced “I have to go first, my kids can’t wait.”
I spluttered, checked that my ears were working and was, frankly, gob smacked for a reply. The shop keeper looked at the Mum, looked at me and looked at the fiver. With great aplomb I thought he ignored her and finished my transaction, much to the disgruntlement of the Mother and her howling little ‘uns.
Now, I am not a child hater, far from it, before I get slated. I do want a little Bobblelina or Bobb of my own, but I hope I can be better at handling them. Surely if they are screaming for ice-creams that is the Mother’s ‘fault’ not mine?
It was the look of disgust at the counter that she gave me that still rankles.
Also, can someone tell me why the word childless is still applied to people who haven’t got children? To me it implies barrenness and selfishness.
August 17th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
I find that nice people often have nice kids, and arsehole people have arsehole kids. Then again, I’m no biologist.
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
I find that nice people often have nice kids, and arsehole people have arsehole kids. Then again, I’m no biologist.
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
I’m gobsmacked, Bobbs. If she’d been buying something like bandages because her children were bleeding profusely from a major artery then I’d maybe forgive her, but she was getting ice-creams, for the love of God! That’s a treat, not a need…
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
I’m gobsmacked, Bobbs. If she’d been buying something like bandages because her children were bleeding profusely from a major artery then I’d maybe forgive her, but she was getting ice-creams, for the love of God! That’s a treat, not a need…
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
Well… how to say it ? I completely agree with Globet. I would just add one thing : this kind of people you met, if they do not have their kids with them, they have a “more than 65 years old priority card” or a “Frequent flyer on low cost company card” or a “Golden customer for crap shops” card, in any case they find ways to have an higher priority level than you: they need that to feel alive. Let it be
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
Well… how to say it ? I completely agree with Globet. I would just add one thing : this kind of people you met, if they do not have their kids with them, they have a “more than 65 years old priority card” or a “Frequent flyer on low cost company card” or a “Golden customer for crap shops” card, in any case they find ways to have an higher priority level than you: they need that to feel alive. Let it be
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
Hmm, but what alternative do you propose for ‘childless’? ‘offspingally challenged’? Or merely ‘delightfully unencumbered’?
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August 17th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
Hmm, but what alternative do you propose for ‘childless’? ‘offspingally challenged’? Or merely ‘delightfully unencumbered’?
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:00 pm
‘Boon, it ultimately comes down to semantics, but I do see Bobbs’ point - ‘childless’ does sound rather more stark and final than simply not having children. I do rather like delightfully unencumbered though!
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:00 pm
I see bobbs point too - it does sound bad! I was just hoping we could come up with a good sounding alternative!
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
I think some call it ‘childfree’ in the US but that sounds bit daft. I like Babs suggestion too Floaty!
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
I think some call it ‘childfree’ in the US but that sounds bit daft. I like Babs suggestion too Floaty!
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Childfree sounds quite selfish, doesn’t it? It’s like, ‘oh, thank Christ we haven’t got any of those shitty little ankle-biters messing up our lives!’. Delightfully unencumbered is, I think, the way to go.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Childfree sounds quite selfish, doesn’t it? It’s like, ‘oh, thank Christ we haven’t got any of those shitty little ankle-biters messing up our lives!’. Delightfully unencumbered is, I think, the way to go.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Or maybe we should just start calling people with children ‘unnecessarily fecund’ or ‘planet killers’
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Or maybe we should just start calling people with children ‘unnecessarily fecund’ or ‘planet killers’
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Ooh, controversial (but I like it…)
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Fecund is a great word. I shall attempt to use it in the finance meeting today.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Fecund is a great word. I shall attempt to use it in the finance meeting today.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
I think every day should feature a ‘word challenge’ from now on.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
I think every day should feature a ‘word challenge’ from now on.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
I can go with the word challenge idea, thats good thinking!
As for Childless, I don’t see why it needs to be said at all, say if someone has got kids yes, but if no one says anything about any kids, can’t we all just assume? It’s too often accompainied by older people looking down on the lady in question for not having started a production line of mini-me’s yet.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
I can go with the word challenge idea, thats good thinking!
As for Childless, I don’t see why it needs to be said at all, say if someone has got kids yes, but if no one says anything about any kids, can’t we all just assume? It’s too often accompainied by older people looking down on the lady in question for not having started a production line of mini-me’s yet.
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Peej, I think that’s exactly the point - the only people that ever use the word are using it disparagingly, hence its connotations.
We used to play the word challenge game at drama school. Except that we’d come up with ridiculous words or phrases like ‘mandibles’ or ‘cheesy comestibles’. Great fun - and a cause for great hilarity amongst those in the know ;o)
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August 17th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Peej, I think that’s exactly the point - the only people that ever use the word are using it disparagingly, hence its connotations.
We used to play the word challenge game at drama school. Except that we’d come up with ridiculous words or phrases like ‘mandibles’ or ‘cheesy comestibles’. Great fun - and a cause for great hilarity amongst those in the know ;o)
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August 17th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
*always slow to pick up on the point*
An opportunity for audio blogging then?
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August 17th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
*always slow to pick up on the point*
An opportunity for audio blogging then?
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August 17th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
I don’t give a monkey’s about the word ‘childless’ nor about what my pals call ‘breeders’ looking down their noses at those of us who choose not to increase the population of this overcrowded planet of ours. They made their choice. I’ve made mine.
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August 17th, 2005 at 5:04 pm
I don’t give a monkey’s about the word ‘childless’ nor about what my pals call ‘breeders’ looking down their noses at those of us who choose not to increase the population of this overcrowded planet of ours. They made their choice. I’ve made mine.
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August 17th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
Sometimes it’s not a choice though, is it? That, I think, is when people throwing around thoughtless comments about childlessness can become a big problem.
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August 17th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
Sometimes it’s not a choice though, is it? That, I think, is when people throwing around thoughtless comments about childlessness can become a big problem.
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August 17th, 2005 at 6:02 pm
Floatykatja, I guess you get the point, and I would even push it furhter: when you have no kids around people complain , when you ahve some and they are noisy people complain, and when they are not noisy they ask if you threaten them to get that results. kids are not the problem, people throwing comments ARE the problem…
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August 17th, 2005 at 6:02 pm
Floatykatja, I guess you get the point, and I would even push it furhter: when you have no kids around people complain , when you ahve some and they are noisy people complain, and when they are not noisy they ask if you threaten them to get that results. kids are not the problem, people throwing comments ARE the problem…
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August 17th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
True enough, Floaty.
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August 17th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
True enough, Floaty.
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August 17th, 2005 at 8:04 pm
I think childless as a description is fine because it is exactly what it says, however it’s how it’s used that is important - for instance I object to being referred to as Mr H’s wife because I am many other things too - I prefer it when people introduce me as ‘H who is married to Mr H’ - and as such I prefer not to be described via my offspring or lack of them. Another thing I find terribly annoying is people who refer to someone as ‘Johnny’s mummy’ and would prefer to hear someone say ‘Johnny is her son’.
But as someone who doesn’t have children childless as a description is perfectly accurate and, as such, I don’t really have a problem with it.
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August 17th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
Oh yes, you’ve opened up a whole new debate there, H. I hate, hate, HATE being introduced to people as The Architect’s Girlfriend. I am a person in my own right, thank you very much. Mind you, I also dislike the term girlfriend - The Architect and I have a rather more permanent relationship than merely girl/boyfriend - but in the absence of anything better I suppose it will have to do.
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August 17th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
Oh yes, you’ve opened up a whole new debate there, H. I hate, hate, HATE being introduced to people as The Architect’s Girlfriend. I am a person in my own right, thank you very much. Mind you, I also dislike the term girlfriend - The Architect and I have a rather more permanent relationship than merely girl/boyfriend - but in the absence of anything better I suppose it will have to do.
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August 18th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
So do we need a new term for a couple who are not married on paper but have everything else but that bit of paper? But that again is defining people (or more usually the woman) through there/her ‘role’, Mother, Wife…
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August 18th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
So do we need a new term for a couple who are not married on paper but have everything else but that bit of paper? But that again is defining people (or more usually the woman) through there/her ‘role’, Mother, Wife…
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August 20th, 2005 at 7:02 am
“but I hope I can be better at handling them.” Exactly the words to remember when one day you figure out that they have minds of their own , usually that happens at times like when it is about 100 degrees outside and they decide they need an ice cream asap. I am sure you will look back at this episode and think…ooh noooww I understand…what was I thinking…?”
August 20th, 2005 at 7:02 am
“but I hope I can be better at handling them.” Exactly the words to remember when one day you figure out that they have minds of their own , usually that happens at times like when it is about 100 degrees outside and they decide they need an ice cream asap. I am sure you will look back at this episode and think…ooh noooww I understand…what was I thinking…?”
August 20th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Ann, ‘having minds of their own’ shouldn’t excuse the mother’s rudeness - she could have asked Bobble if she would mind if she went before her rather than insisting that she had to go first. Those kids will grow up to think that yelling shouting and barging to the front is decent behaviour. Maybe you should look at yourself and ask what you are thinking if that woman’s behaviour is something that you find reasonable.
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August 20th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
Ann, ‘having minds of their own’ shouldn’t excuse the mother’s rudeness - she could have asked Bobble if she would mind if she went before her rather than insisting that she had to go first. Those kids will grow up to think that yelling shouting and barging to the front is decent behaviour. Maybe you should look at yourself and ask what you are thinking if that woman’s behaviour is something that you find reasonable.
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August 21st, 2005 at 6:02 am
OOOhh myyy..aren’t we a little upset? You know sometimes you have to take into account that people have bad days and you have to give them that credit of doubt(it is what prevents us from becoming bitter people). The fact that she was a mother of a few little kids..I feel ..entitles her to have a few bad days a year which won’t affect her being a good mother. I have seen people with no reason at all do those exact same rude acts. Next time you have a bad day and are rude to someone and do not realize it make sure you try to make yourself feel just as bad as you TRIED to make me feel.
August 21st, 2005 at 6:02 am
OOOhh myyy..aren’t we a little upset? You know sometimes you have to take into account that people have bad days and you have to give them that credit of doubt(it is what prevents us from becoming bitter people). The fact that she was a mother of a few little kids..I feel ..entitles her to have a few bad days a year which won’t affect her being a good mother. I have seen people with no reason at all do those exact same rude acts. Next time you have a bad day and are rude to someone and do not realize it make sure you try to make yourself feel just as bad as you TRIED to make me feel.
August 21st, 2005 at 6:03 am
OOOhh myyy..aren’t we a little upset? You know sometimes you have to take into account that people have bad days and you have to give them that credit of doubt(it is what prevents us from becoming bitter people). The fact that she was a mother of a few little kids..I feel ..entitles her to have a few bad days a year which won’t affect her being a good mother. I have seen people with no reason at all do those exact same rude acts. Next time you have a bad day and are rude to someone and do not realize it make sure you try to make yourself feel just as bad as you TRIED to make me feel.
August 21st, 2005 at 5:00 pm
A bad day doesn’t excuse out-and-out rudeness, Ann.
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August 21st, 2005 at 5:00 pm
A bad day doesn’t excuse out-and-out rudeness, Ann.
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August 23rd, 2005 at 12:02 am
A woman threatened to run me over in the Ikea car park on Saturday. I think some shops just drive these people to it with the strip lighting.
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August 23rd, 2005 at 12:02 am
A woman threatened to run me over in the Ikea car park on Saturday. I think some shops just drive these people to it with the strip lighting.
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